pardon my ramblings

“Oh my gosh, are you super excited to graduate?” I really hate that question. I don’t like it because I have heard it 100 times in the last month and I really dislike redundancies. I don’t like it because I don’t know what to day. Am I excited… kind of. However, I think I was more excited to start school at The U than I am to finish it. Not because I am afraid of the future, but rather, because I know what life is like outside of college. Life is good no matter where you’re living it as long as you’re living it, but living it in college is pretty great. So, am I excited to graduate… kind of. I wish people would come up to me and ask me what I think of the band, KISS. Or what I think the odds are that we ever are able to break the time and space continuum. I don’t have answers to those questions either, but at least they’re fun to think about.

I’ll be heading off to Miami Ad School in Mpls for their copywriting program. The program starts this July and runs continually for eight quarters. Some of the people I have told about this comment with, “Oh, more school. Good for you!” And I don’t know how to answer that either. I think to myself, “If I was 23 and headed off to ‘more school’ it might be cool.” Like, oh good for you, man. I’m glad you found something passionate about. Now I wonder if “Oh, more school.” is code for, “Shouldn’t you get a job?” To which I reply to myself rhetorically, “Yes, I wish I could just get a job.” But, a little bit more school will help me get THE job that I want. So, I guess I’ll take “Oh, more school. Good for you!” in the best possible way.

You know what’s funny is that I still remember my first day at Viterbo. Two years ago I was sitting in hot classrooms with people I didn’t know. The first day of class with Leanne someone asked her what her favorite book was and she said she loved Emerson. I then felt compelled to tell everyone that I was reading Emerson and didn’t understand him that well. I didn’t stop there. I went on to tell these strangers that I have a friend who is 16 and he understood Emerson, but I didn’t. I think I felt like an idiot. Yeah, I definitely did. So, I walked out of the room after class feeling like a prize moron and the only kid I knew at school, Mike, greeted me with a, “Way to make a good impression on the first day.” Now we’re approaching the final day. I know everyone in my classes and it’s cold outside. I guess it’s almost like the exact opposite of when I started.

I wrote in my last post about how we should learn from our past (sort of), but when I was driving last night, something occurred to me. We try to learn so much from the history of our country and the world and all that, but I personally don’t really try my best to learn from my own history. We all have a past to learn from, but too often we neglect it. I wish I didn’t do that so much. I heard one time that a smart person learns from his/her mistakes. A wise person learns from the mistakes of others. History lessons shouldn’t always be drawn from hundreds of years ago. Why not a hundred minutes ago?

I’m still a little bit upset I didn’t get the nod for class speaker. I guess I just wanted to wink and nod at a lot of my friends that I’ll be graduating with. I found out the other day that I’ll be sitting next to my buddy, JD. I’d like to shake his hand upon commencement. I wonder if President Artman would consider a guest hand shaker? I could do that. My handshakes are firm, but not hard; I make great eye contact and I would like that opportunity to personally invite some ladies to my grad party. Of which I still don’t know the location. I’ll have to figure that out soon.

something i learned at subway

Tim and I were having lunch together about a year and he said something kind of intelligent. As I indulged in a terrific Subway sandwich we ended up talking about public perception and how sad it is that we all care so much (he and I included) about what everyone else thinks about us. He said something along the lines of – when we’re young, we all care so much about what others think about us and as we grow older we think about how stupid it is that we cared so much about what others think about us. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter. This is something I try and convince myself of daily. It works sometimes.

I just interviewed a guy yesterday and got nowhere. Every question I asked was greeted with a vague umbrella response and it was frustrating. I asked him, “Why do you care so much about what other people might think about you?” He told me that he thinks everyone cares about what others think about them. I agree, but think about this…

If what Tim says is true, and I believe it is, we’re all really failing to learn from our past – which is an incredibly important part of life. I used to care about what other people thought about my clothing. I cared about how I looked and was careful with all my words. Looking back, I wish I had been a little weirdo, a pariah amongst the people I was trying so hard to impress. I tried to impress them by being just like them. How cool is that? Not very cool. Stick your neck out on the chopping block sometimes. Say what you mean and be passionate about what you believe in. Believe in something. Am I right?   

I see a lot of people at school and elsewhere who are afraid of being judged and that stops them from being who they are; it stops them from reaching their full potential. At some point they’ll let go, but it probably won’t be until they are old. And, at that point, what good will it do them? Not very much. Life is ephemeral and we never realize that until the end is eminent.

I don’t have all the answers and it’s hard for one person to really connect in a few verses with a population. In fact, that is probably the hardest thing in the world to do. But wouldn’t it be great if we lived in a society where people stopped worrying so much about what everyone else thought and just started living? Think of how much we could learn and grow before it’s too late.