So, after not sleeping well, I woke up early to take my final final. Said final was in my sport and event marketing class and I wasn’t too concerned. I could’ve probably passed this test with a vehicle on my torso. I parked my car in the usual Monday, Wednesday, and Friday spot and began walking to class. I walked by the new nursing building and around the corner I found myself looking at the Brophy building where my final was and down the walkway at the Murphy Center – the building that housed much of my trip through Viterbo classrooms.

I remember my first class with Leanne Carlson. It was a hot day; trying not to stand out too much, I was dressed pretty casual. I remember sitting in the back corner by the window. Leanne started the class by having all of us ask her a question about her – so we could get to know our new teacher. I didn’t know anyone in class and was an elderly stranger in this foreign land. At this point I really had no idea what I was doing at Viterbo. It just sounded like a good idea, I guess. Anyway, Leanne was asked what book she would bring with her if she could select one to tote with on a desert island. She answered that she would bring a collection of Emerson’s work. I thought about how that would suck because he is so wordy; there is nothing succinct about American Lit circa 1840. This I knew from my readings the night before.

I had been preparing myself in my own way for college by going to the library and reading books I didn’t understand. I read a book of William Blakes poems because a singer (M. Ward) mentioned him in one his songs – “death is just a door, Blake said it first.” At the advice of my 16 year old friend, Alex, I also picked up a collection of essays from Emerson. Upon hearing Leanne say that she loved Emerson, I felt as though we could really connect. So, I said the following – “You know what I’ve found about Emerson, he rarely gets a point across in less than a page. I mean, my friends little brother loves the guy, but I just don’t get why he has to say so much to say so little.” That is not the way to be cool on your first day of school. I walked out of the Murphy building and a buddy of mine was standing there talking to a kid from that class. Dude from class said – “Way to sound like an idiot up there.” I did sound like an idiot. Later in class, I tried to make amends for my stupidity by asking Leanne a really great question. I believe that came out as… “what’s your favorite kind of ice cream?” I’m pretty sure I wanted to quit school and hitch hike to Paraguay.

After the first day or two I called my friend Kelly in Portland. I told her that school sucked and that I didn’t make any friends yet. This drove me nuts and I was frustrated – I always make friends, what is wrong with me?? I didn’t say much in class and tried to make pals at the Mathy Center (where I worked for a little while). But, I didn’t have a lot in common with the couple of people I worked with. I was upset; I was questioning a question that I was already questioning.

My friend Barry called me one day as I was walking to another class and reminded me that I was located in the middle of the greatest place on earth – a college campus. I agreed with him, sort of, but didn’t fully believe him. I still felt like an elderly stranger – like Billy Joel in at a dance party.

I can’t recall the moment that I really felt at home at Viterbo, but there was a definite transition. I know that it didn’t take me long to find my groove in making friends and connections. Leanne had a lot to do with that. Pat and Paul helped me out tremendously giving me the opportunity to write this blog. I don’t know how to describe it. It’s like I got lucky meeting one person and all of the sudden three good things would happen. I would make one friend and instantly I was friends with 20 people. I guess I just got over myself and started thinking about how I could be the nicest dude that other people would ever meet. And I suppose it helped that I found people who recognized my sense of humor and laughed with/at me from time to time. It’s definitely the people, not the brick buildings that make Viterbo great.

I’ll never understand people who don’t have fun at college. I’ll never understand people who are chomping at the bit to get out – as if college is their problem or their prison. College waits for those eager to take advantage of it; it waits for kids to enter through its gates and suck it dry. It’s a place that is begging at every turn to be abused. And that’s how students should treat it. Like a rented mule or a great wave off the coast of Hawaii. Ride it for all its worth because the mule won’t last for ever and eventually that wave will drop you off at the shore.

I don’t know if I’ll write on this blog anymore. For those of you who have read my posts, thanks. It’s cool to think that I can extend my thoughts to any person who might care to read them is pretty humbling to me. Anyway, if I don’t document graduation, and even if I do, these are some words that I would like to leave with…

“I shall pass this way but once; any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.” – Stephen Grellet

I swear I’m not good at good byes. I distinctly remember a few times throughout my life where I had to say good bye to family and friends; the result was sloppy and wet. I had friends and family that came and went; good friends who changed schools. I even used to break up when my dad dropped me off at school in the second grade. Change made me sad. I contemplated this reality: what was familiar to me for a little while, had suddenly changed. Things that I had grown accustomed to were gone.

So, I had to adjust. I had to make new friends and find other ways to build my character and stay occupied. Now, dear graduates, much like shifting away from the familiarity of youth, we will have to adjust and become anew as we leave the familiarity of Viterbo.

Viterbo, to me, is kind of like a funnel. It’s here in La Crosse with that big open mouth on Jackson St waiting for all of us to filter our way in. We slosh around a bit, hang out at school, play ball, and get to know each other quite well – and we spend many nights at the Recovery Room. As we get close to the exit, we cycle – one by one – through that little hole, across this stage, one at a time. And like that, we’re done. We’re alumni. We’re no longer able to get away with shenanigans that were previously easy to write off by saying – It’s okay, I’m a college student (a crutch I will greatly miss). So, as I am writing this, I thought about Nathaniel Hawthorne (naturally). In his book, The CustomHouse, he says, “Human nature will not flourish, any more than a potato, if it be planted and replanted, for too long a series of generations, in the same worn-out soil. My children have had other birthplaces, and, so far as their fortunes may be within my control, shall strike their roots into unaccustomed earth.”

We’re leaving Viterbo today with a diploma in hand and words of encouragement ringing in our ears… and no real idea what to expect in the coming weeks, months, and years. All we know is that we will soon be traveling by way of unaccustomed earth.

As we trek across this uncertainty some of us will wait for prosperity to come to us from off in the distance while others of us will grow it from under our feet. No matter what we aspire to, it is of the utmost importance to have a great deal of resolve and enthusiasm. Mind you, friends, this is not something we can’t buy in stores, or find in a bar, but rather something that we must breed within ourselves. Something we must create each day. And, that won’t always be easy.

There will be times of failure and loneliness, let’s not kid ourselves. But through these times it will be equally, if not more important, for us to learn… continue to grow. We’ll soon realize that it’s easy to profit from our gains – anyone can do that. It’s the losses that will build the character and intelligence we’ll need to navigate our way across this globe. It’s like Washington Irving said, “Great minds have purpose, others have wishes. Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune, but great minds rise above them.

I think most of us know that life, as a whole, is highly unpredictable. We’ll never fully know the outcome – or how to play the hand we’re dealt. But, we can all be bold enough to stick our neck out there and play the game. And if that doesn’t work, change the deck. We know that we’ll be venturing into something new. A new world without 13 billion bricks featuring signs hung around campus displaying pictures of Cari Loomis and reminding us of the virtues that Viterbo values – disappointingly, none of those banners adorn my photo… yet. We’re not going to be surrounded by thousands of students, most of whom are our own age. Nor will we have the luxury of ever-changing and often times pleasant company; we’ll quickly be void of this wonderful laid back college life. We’re going to have adversity, and with that comes an opportunity to grow from it. We’ll enjoy our gains, and learn from our losses. We’ll be gracious and compassionate as we move on to stake our claim in places unknown. And through it all, we’ll do our best to offer the world a fine representation of Viterbo University.

As I leave here today, I want to echo the indelible words of one of my favorite authors – Henry David Thoreau.

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours… If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.”

Class of 2011… good byes aren’t always easy, but they often times open the door for something great; something new. Fellow graduates, look boldly at your future and embrace that unaccustomed earth.

Congratulations and God bless.

I’ll be heading off to Miami Ad School in Mpls for their copywriting program. The program starts this July and runs continually for eight quarters. Some of the people I have told about this comment with, “Oh, more school. Good for you!” And I don’t know how to answer that either. I think to myself, “If I was 23 and headed off to ‘more school’ it might be cool.” Like, oh good for you, man. I’m glad you found something passionate about. Now I wonder if “Oh, more school.” is code for, “Shouldn’t you get a job?” To which I reply to myself rhetorically, “Yes, I wish I could just get a job.” But, a little bit more school will help me get THE job that I want. So, I guess I’ll take “Oh, more school. Good for you!” in the best possible way.

You know what’s funny is that I still remember my first day at Viterbo. Two years ago I was sitting in hot classrooms with people I didn’t know. The first day of class with Leanne someone asked her what her favorite book was and she said she loved Emerson. I then felt compelled to tell everyone that I was reading Emerson and didn’t understand him that well. I didn’t stop there. I went on to tell these strangers that I have a friend who is 16 and he understood Emerson, but I didn’t. I think I felt like an idiot. Yeah, I definitely did. So, I walked out of the room after class feeling like a prize moron and the only kid I knew at school, Mike, greeted me with a, “Way to make a good impression on the first day.” Now we’re approaching the final day. I know everyone in my classes and it’s cold outside. I guess it’s almost like the exact opposite of when I started.

I wrote in my last post about how we should learn from our past (sort of), but when I was driving last night, something occurred to me. We try to learn so much from the history of our country and the world and all that, but I personally don’t really try my best to learn from my own history. We all have a past to learn from, but too often we neglect it. I wish I didn’t do that so much. I heard one time that a smart person learns from his/her mistakes. A wise person learns from the mistakes of others. History lessons shouldn’t always be drawn from hundreds of years ago. Why not a hundred minutes ago?

I’m still a little bit upset I didn’t get the nod for class speaker. I guess I just wanted to wink and nod at a lot of my friends that I’ll be graduating with. I found out the other day that I’ll be sitting next to my buddy, JD. I’d like to shake his hand upon commencement. I wonder if President Artman would consider a guest hand shaker? I could do that. My handshakes are firm, but not hard; I make great eye contact and I would like that opportunity to personally invite some ladies to my grad party. Of which I still don’t know the location. I’ll have to figure that out soon.

I just interviewed a guy yesterday and got nowhere. Every question I asked was greeted with a vague umbrella response and it was frustrating. I asked him, “Why do you care so much about what other people might think about you?” He told me that he thinks everyone cares about what others think about them. I agree, but think about this…

If what Tim says is true, and I believe it is, we’re all really failing to learn from our past – which is an incredibly important part of life. I used to care about what other people thought about my clothing. I cared about how I looked and was careful with all my words. Looking back, I wish I had been a little weirdo, a pariah amongst the people I was trying so hard to impress. I tried to impress them by being just like them. How cool is that? Not very cool. Stick your neck out on the chopping block sometimes. Say what you mean and be passionate about what you believe in. Believe in something. Am I right?   

I see a lot of people at school and elsewhere who are afraid of being judged and that stops them from being who they are; it stops them from reaching their full potential. At some point they’ll let go, but it probably won’t be until they are old. And, at that point, what good will it do them? Not very much. Life is ephemeral and we never realize that until the end is eminent.

I don’t have all the answers and it’s hard for one person to really connect in a few verses with a population. In fact, that is probably the hardest thing in the world to do. But wouldn’t it be great if we lived in a society where people stopped worrying so much about what everyone else thought and just started living? Think of how much we could learn and grow before it’s too late.

So, what have I learned in the past few days – I am not looking forward to this 120 question test they (my teachers) call “The MFT.” My classmates and I are responsible for teaching each other the contents on the exam. The two areas I have been blessed with are – IS (Information Systems which I already presented poorly) and Statistics (which I don’t know anything about). I just took the stats course 5 weeks ago and I remember nothing. I hated it so much and cared so little about anything that was going on that I couldn’t teach smart monkey about probability if someone was threatening my life. They’d pull out a samurai sword and tell me to start talking gibberish about stats and I would stammer like an idiot. Maybe because I think samurai swords are cool, but mainly because I don’t know anything about stats. My thought would be – why not have someone who knows something about this stuff come and teach the class? I guarantee there are professors and geeks around the area that could interpret statistical research much more eloquently than I will. I’m not looking forward to this.

I just finished up my application to Miami Ad School in Minneapolis. Actually, I have one part left. The pink sheet which informed me of what I needed to do to get into this school let me know that I had to video tape myself informing the crowd about why I am creative and how I will be a good fit at ad school. I hate this question and am still having problems answering it. I’ve had weeks to think about this query and still, I can’t answer it. How do you explain something like that? I just wrote the school advisor and told her that I may submit a silent film (see Charlie Chaplin). Strictly non-verbal communication. It might be the way all ads are seen in the future – like when everyone becomes deaf. I blame George Bush and radioactivity for this impending deafness. What I’ll probably end up doing is having my English major friend, Zach, interview me at a local establishment that all the cool kids hang out at… The Recovery Room. We’ll be in there with a camcorder a few sheets of paper, aviator shades, and director chairs. The theater kids will trip all over each other thinking we’re holding auditions for “Guys and Dolls.” I should be a director.

Class comes early tomorrow, so I am going to sleep – dormir (to sleep) en espanol.

Norah Jones – http://youtu.be/wE4lnC25fnU

I’ve recently heard many college graduates talk as if a job, career, money, respect, responsibility, etc. is owed to them. As if when they graduate, the world at that point, owes them something. I understand that after one goes through four more years of school one might expect to have an easier time getting a position they have wanted for some time. However, expecting a job to come to you (especially in our economy) is absurd. And, it’s not simply the degree that gets you a job, it’s what else you do with your time while in college. This is something of which I am quite certain.

I graduated from WWTC, or as my friend Andrew calls it “more high school,” in 2006. At that point I was certain that it was just a matter of days until somebody discovered my genius. It ended up being a matter of many months, a move to Minneapolis, a lot of money foolishly spent on courses in Madison, and about a dozen trips out of town to job interviews. I found out quickly that nobody owed me anything and I didn’t get hired by anyone.

Eventually I got a job that I liked, but didn’t want to make a career out of it. So I quit and came back to Viterbo. I thought that this time would be different. I honestly thought that because I was on a bigger campus – a University campus, mind you, this would mean that knowledge would come pouring out of the walls and into my brain through osmosis. I was under the assumption that I would imbibe so much information at this school from professors, garden gnomes, and educated wizards that I would go home sick each day. Well, that was just an illusion. It’s an illusion most people have about college. It’s understandable, but if you are looking to get a lot out of your education simply by showing up, you’re going to be disappointed. I just realized this a few weeks ago.

Barry’s little brother is heading off to Madison this fall and he was asking Barry and I about what he should expect from college. Barry, the wiser of the two of us, told Alex that college isn’t so much what they (professors, scholars, lecturers, etc.) give to you, but what you put into it. When I was younger I was also under the impression that college was about sitting in class rooms and getting your mind blown by earth shattering concepts and theories about almost anything. The honest truth is that the best classes I’ve taken at VU have been World Religions with Dr. Reese and Spanish 101 with Jason McAtee. If we’re being honest here, my marketing and management classes have offered me some valuable insight, but they haven’t revolutionized my way of thinking. I opted to take World Religions and Spanish. I chose to volunteer my time coaching and writing for different magazines and individuals. I chose to get active in clothing drives and got lucky in meeting Pat so that I could write this blog and in the Strides magazine. Most of what I have learned in the past 2 years at The U has been outside the Dahl School of Business.

I’m affectionate towards Viterbo because I have had a great two years while attending this University. But, it wasn’t the University that made me become active in living and giving. They simply encourage and promote this behavior. But, like anything else in life, it’s all about what you put into it. College can and will be a great stretch of years for any individual who can shatter the illusion of college professors bending spoons and peeling paint with their minds. It’s not happening at Harvard and it’s not happening at Viterbo.

My friend Tony was telling me last week that he heard from business students (his freshman year – 3.5 years ago) as they enter college that they are going to start their own business – everyone wants to be an entrepreneur. Naturally, Tony asked them what company they plan to start and they had no idea. Which is fine – most people don’t know exactly what they want to do when they are 18. But, after four years of exposure to thoughts, ideas, and opportunities to get involved and form opinions, many students still have no idea what they want to do. And this is the interesting part. Then you ask what internships they had – none. What other experience do they have – none. Where have they worked during college – nowhere. Have they branched out and made new friends, read any interesting literature, had any original thoughts, traveled anywhere, etc. – not likely.

College is great. But, it’s just another four years of your life and a lot of debt if not used correctly.

Here is the story… I was over at my best brother Barry’s parent’s house this Friday just after getting back from Rochester to buy my sweet new whip (car). I got there and much to my delight, his lovely sister and two nieces were in attendance – they must have heard I was coming. Anyway, Taylor was getting nuts with the Dora stickers and I got peppered with a few. Barry and I decided to make a run to Pizza King for gyros (so good) and on the way, I thought, I should take this stupid sticker off my hoodie so peeps don’t think I’m illegitimately creating babies! So, I put it on my steering wheel (naturally) and as I did that, I looked at Barry. He looked back, saw what I did, and we both said, “Dora.” So, that’s my new car’s name. It’s great. She’s dark green with a very environmental aura – well, with Oregon plates and all. I want to keep those Oregon plates on there because they look cool, but I think that’s illegal.

Think about this… which is easier – doing, or not doing? Oddly, both of them are difficult. If we try and sit still and do nothing for two minutes, I think we’ll find that almost as difficult as being active for two minutes. However, in life – big picture, doing nothing is much easier than doing something. In doing – having dreams, ideas, aspirations, etc. we open ourselves up for criticism. There will be people waiting to tell you of how foolish our ambitions are and how we shouldn’t concern ourselves with them – because that’s easy. It’s easy to criticize, condemn, and admonish. Any fool can do that, and most fools do. I wish this wasn’t the case, but it is. And, the opposite of doing, of course, is not doing – being insipid creatures that take up space. We could clam up, have no dreams, goals, or desire and nobody will bother us – except debt collectors. This is the truth.

It’s difficult to have a positive attitude. It’s ridiculously, almost impossibly, tough to keep a positive disposition in a world that loves to see us fail. We will undoubtedly get (metaphorically or literally) knocked down a time or 10,000 in the next 50 years. And such is life. You might lose your job, or get demoted. You might have troubles in child birth, or not be able to have children at all. Maybe your kid won’t like you? If you’re like me, you may doubt the possibility of ever finding anyone who will marry you. Ultimately, your parents will die… you will die. These are the facts of life. The question we will have to ask is what will we do with the time we have before it’s over? You will have choices to make every day. I’m not talking, Armani, or Versace or Coach vs. Prada. I’m talking about your approach towards the rest of the world and that’s completely up to you – at work, at home, at the gym, at school, with friends, family, the guy you see everyday walking to the subway station. And then there will be those who we will run into who are simply impossible to love let alone like. It’s true; we aren’t going to make friends with everyone. And, they might not like us either. Oh well. We can’t control that.

I moved to Minneapolis for three months in 2006. For reasons unknown, I accepted the worst job of all time – but I didn’t know it at that time. I could talk entirely about the pitfalls of walking around a large city’s suburbs while trying to peddle some stupid promotions for a go kart track. But, that would be counterproductive to my intended point. Anyway, there was a guy who I worked with and his name was Adam. Adam and I were out “pounding the pavement” one day when I probably told him something about how I would rather be in solitary confinement for the next 2 years than work another day on this job. He looked at me, exhaled some smoke from his cigarette, and told me that there are only two things in this world that I could control: #1 was my attitude. And 2 was my work ethic. At the time, I wanted to hit him right in his stupid smoker’s mouth and tell him to go wrestle a cougar. But, I didn’t. I just kept about my business and thought about what Adam told me. And, it made sense. I hated him for that. My attitude was subpar and my work ethic was probably worse. I was the problem.

In most instances in life as we look back and as we move forward, we’ll remember scenarios and encounter new ones where we don’t want to think so, but if there is a problem – we’re having a brutal time at work, at home, with friends, etc – if we think about it, we are probably the problem. But, we can also be the solution.

I am convinced that, with the proper mind set, there isn’t a single problem we can’t solve with a little help and encouragement from one another. Not just from the people sitting in this room, but with all the human resources you will have at your disposal really soon. The hard part is figuring out how to lead them and inspire the seemingly lifeless and unlovable among us. The answers are varied, and none of them are easy. But if it was easy to be a great leader, everyone would be.

I think that the answer, in my experience, comes down to love, compassion, empathy, and respect. If we are able to move forward from Viterbo with the notion that we all have an unending amount of each of these items, we will be the change that the world needs to see. Even if we make an impact in a small circle, it’s still going to be a positive one. Think about it, we have a limited amount of physical resources in which we can distribute; we live in a finite world. I learned that in an earth science class. But we, each one of us, can make the often times difficult choice to be kind to one another, be loving, compassionate, and respectful. We can arise each day with a determination to positively impact those whom we come into contact by simply not gossiping, slandering, and belittling others – we can choose to do that which is not easy and in doing that, we can inspire.

We’re all in this together – life that is. And we are each other’s finest resource; I would encourage all of us to embrace that fact as quickly and as fervently as possible. Two people sit in a room. One says, “I can” while the other says, “I can’t.” Both of them are right – whose attitude will we embody?

Fare Thee Well and God Bless.

Things I did this week: got in a four car accident and totaled my car (Oprah). I also finished a book (Blue Like Jazz). Things I have realized: I don’t really care if I wreck cars and it feels good to finish something. I have four other books going now and maybe I’ll finish one of them too. That would be like, a streak. My buddy Tony, whom I call Penny, gave me a book the other day called Freakonomics. So far, it’s interesting. I just read that Pride and Prejudice is the book that opens the eyes of men to the soul of a woman? I’m not entirely sure if I know what that means, but it sounds like a good thing to know. I also read that Emily Dickinson is like the thinking mans Brooklyn Decker. She’s bookish, yet vulnerable. Nice.

The Badgers basketball team lost this week, but all I really want to do is sit in the sun and watch VU play baseball and softball. If you didn’t catch my blog post from last spring, I stated that I love baseball, but almost prefer watching girls softball. Admittedly, I am not a girls basketball enthusiast, but girls softball is pretty cool. Come to think of it, I don’t know if I like those sports or the warm weather that accompanies them more. Probably a combination of both. In reality, all I really want to do is wear sandals all day long.

I remember the first time I ever bought sandals. I was with my mother in the mall walking about and checking out the ladies; I was also checking out the stores – for sandals. I decided that I needed a pair of these wonderful liberating slip-ons so we went into a store and bought a pair. I was so elated with my new footwear that I put them on and paraded around the mall proudly declaring to the world that I was a changed man; free from the tyranny of closed shoe fascism. That might sound extreme, but think about the freedom that your toes feel when you open up that fresh new world to them. Am I right? Anyway, I walked through the mall like a troglodyte who had never worn sandals before. It was completely new to me and I lost my new shoe things a number of times flipping them into the air like I was trying to kick them off my feet. All in all it was a good day.

Today I sit writing this to you all and wondering what vehicle I will find to drive me to school, to my internship, to coach, and to other meetings next week. I am also thinking about if I should study Spanish. Here’s the thing, when I first started taking this class, it was a lot of review from high school and stuff I see on Dora. I felt kind of like Cortes ready to dominate the Aztecs. Now, I have found myself akin to the Aztecs and I can’t stand Cortes. Maybe I will study tomorrow.

In some sobering news, I have recently found out that I will not be giving the commencement speech at graduation. I will however write a number of them on this blog site. Inspired by Pat Kerrigan and fueled by my own desire to communicate thoughts to an audience, I will write some speeches that I may have delivered on that upcoming glorious day in May.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy weekend.

So, let’s go through some of the weekend highlights and lowlights, shall we? But first, I’d like to acknowledge a few things – I am done with my stats class. Second most important – Spring break is upon us. You know what, I don’t even know what Spring break means anymore. I guess a slough of my friends took off for someplace warm. Good for them. I will be working. I used to break for Spring and man was it fun. I went to Knoxville to see Wilco and to Myrtle Beach. I wish I could indulge in some of those tales, but my mother reads this thing. Knoxville was fun. I went with Barry and a friend named Zach. At the show, I sat next to this middle aged lady and her husband – I thought she was going to be a real drag. However, I couldn’t resist the opportunity to talk with her and before I knew it, she was my best friend. We even exchanged a letter and a CD in the mail. What a woman.

ANYWAY, as many of you know, most of my friends are married. I don’t know if our high school was using subliminal messages while we were eating lunch, or what. That’s just how it is. So, Justin and I went to go visit Kyle and Beth and Nate and Becky yesterday. Justin is married with an adorable and wildly intelligent two year old girl, so it’s hard for him to get away. But, Kyle and Beth just had a baby girl and we decided it would be great to see them and their new bundle. We hopped in Rita – Justin’s car – on Saturday morning and were back this morning around 11. All-in-all we spent about 8 hours in his Honda yesterday and drove the equivalent of going to St Louis. Or somewhere about that far away. While hanging out with Kyle, Beth, and baby Elsa, I realized something – I have nothing intelligent to talk about when it comes to babies. I feel so inept.

Friday night I decided to multi-task. I listened to the newest Radiohead album (which is pretty cool, but not awesome), read a book (Blue Like Jazz – great book), and watch the documentary channel. The documentary of the night was about some far Eastern country and their love for camels (or so I gathered) – evidently they are important over there. I’ve always thought camels were pretty rad; I love their big humps. However, I would still trade a herd of camels for one Tauntaun. SO, the thing that I discovered about camels is that they’re huge and that those huge animals give birth to other large creatures. And it is an awful thing to watch on TV or in person (it might be worse live). In hindsight, this was an injudicious show to be watching right before going to visit two new givers of life.

All I could think about was camels giving birth when I was visiting my baby producing friends.

The things going through my mind were not really good and I couldn’t ask a whole lot of questions. Justin is an old pro so he chatted easily about “latching on” and proper feeding procedures. The only question I asked was, “so, how was labor?” In terms of child birth and parenting, I have the intellect of a 4 year old. It would be funny if it wasn’t pathetic. I think that next time I go visit a baby and his/her parents I will Google some information so that I sound like I know what I am talking about. I’ll be able to throw terms out about rooting reflexes and what have you. Either way, I hope to become more educated so that I can ask questions in lieu of pondering the awkward stubborn birth of a baby camel. Let this be a lesson to men everywhere.